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MERLIN IT Ltd |
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MERLIN IT Ltd |
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PHONE NUMBERS Murray 0900 55 646 Day Consulting 09 2321646 Office murray at merlinit.co.nz Roger 0274 997 298 Fax 09 2360820 roger at bombay.net.nz Infusion 0900 777 78 Support Line ARCHE 0900 57755 MYOB /NZA 0508 32 82 83 $35 per call
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MAGIC Information Technology Solutions |
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Small business software Aurora One
School Home work Top Gear Reliant Robin 3 wheel test needs sound 13 min very funny |
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Application Software Support
MICROSOFT INFUSION New Accounting Application New modules EXONET High end business accounting IMS Quality payroll AURORA Midrange business accounting Solution 6 Chartered Accountants Cashlink Old DOS accounting system (Low level) applications not Supported. We may be able to offer advice and references. MYOB MONEYWORKS SYBIZ CASH MANAGER VISION QUICKEN QUICKBOOKS Banklink.
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Open roger , leave merlinit open.
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Computer Check Software Click Links page for downloads CCLEANER Clean Temp files AVG Antivirus SPYBOT Checks Spyware MalwareBytes Checks Spyware Autoruns Change Startup procexp Shows what is running defraggler HDD Defrag Sysinternals is a Microsoft site with frequent updates of utilities |
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CONTACT OUR CONSULTANTS AS SOON AS YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
EARLY DETECTION SAVES LONG TERM EXPENSE |
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28 Jan 1.119.829.0 27 Jan 20120127-019-v5i32 27 Jan DAT6602 Wed update 28 Jan Ver 2707 New program version 30/12 27 Jan Ver 4771 |
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Notes Web Design This site is designed using Microsoft Publisher 2003.
The site is updated every few days.
Please email if a link does not work. Links are added as the site users recommend new links.
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Clever Joke 25/01 We receive many email jokes, many we consider not suitable for our family. I will change the joke when the next clever one arrives.. |
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All statements made on this web site should be confirmed with your consultant or accountant or medical professional. This website is used for development testing. The site is prepared using Microsoft Publisher 2003 |
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28th Mon 30th January Auckland Anniversary Day
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V 120128 16 |
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Windows 7 Office 2010 SQL2008 |
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STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Poor Old Lady This old lady walks into the Doctor's office and says, "Doctor, please help me. I have a terrible problem with farting. It's not really a social problem, because you can't smell it or hear it, but I must have farted 20 times since talking to you." The Doctor nods his head and says, "Take this bottle of pills and use them all. When they are all gone in about 2 weeks, come back to see me." The old lady comes back 2 weeks later and is angry. She says "What was in those pills? I fart just as much. You still can't hear them, but now they smell horrible!" The Doctor again nods his head and says, "Great, that takes care of your sinus problem, now let's work on your hearing." Confucius Says: Man who run in Front of car get tired. Man who run behind Car get exhausted. Man with one Chopstick go hungry. Man who scratch butt Should not bite fingernails. Man who eat many Prunes get good run for money. War does not Determine who is right, war determine who is Left. Wife who put Husband in doghouse soon find him in Cathouse. Man who drive like Hell, bound to get there Man who live in Glass house should change clothes in Basement. Man who fish in Other man's well often catch crabs. Crowded elevator Smell different to midget.
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
Christmas Cake
2 c Flour 1 stick of butter 1 c water 1 tsp baking soda 1 c sugar 1 tsp salt 1 c brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle brandy 2 c dried fruit
Sample the brandy to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the brandy again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffly bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point its best to make sure the brandy is still ok. Try another cup.....just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up of the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the brandy to check tonsisticity. Next sift two cups of salt. or something. Check the brandy. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degress and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally throw the bowl through the window. Finish the brandy and wipe counter with the cake.
The spoon: A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?' 'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.' As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the male waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?' "Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%. I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?' 'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.
Microsoft Landing A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees." End Joke |
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Weather Station 23rd Jan Weather Station not working. Cable to anemometer (Wind) problem & Rain 7am.35 knots. 15 April Weather Computer fail 14 May new weather station purchased |
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Earthquake Christchurch Land Check Zone map NZ (Christchurch) Earthquakes magnitude Historic Quake map Updated real time |
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Events Tennis Australian Open Yachting Maraetai Starling North Islands Auckland Anniversary Day Regatta Monday 30th Jan Fishing The Counties Sport Fishing Club One Base competition runs from February 2 to 5 from the Te Toro boat ramp |
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Videos Jen Curtis Jo & Chris Curtis daughter |
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Maritime NZ Map Rena Stern sunk photos Updated Daily
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Volvo 25Jan Volvo Ocean Race Tracker Team NZ Schedule Nautical Miles Leg 3 - Abu Dhabi to Sanya the southernmost city in the People's Republic of China. Started on Sunday. |